Sweet Face
by AlreadyPainfullyGone
Summary: Sequal to Sweetheart. Castiel and his twin brother Jimmy have a strange relationship, one that takes both of them through hell and finally back to reality. Castiel/Jimmy incest. But still Destiel at heart.
1. Chapter 1

_By popular demand- the sequal/prequel to Sweetheart. So far it's jimmy and Cas, might include some pre-teen Dean later, because I'm interested in what he was doing with his adolescence. Trying to blitz through this didn't really work, let me know if you think it's going too fast. _

Jimmy and Castiel are eight the first time they say 'I love you'. Of course they say it to each other, already knowing they don't need anyone else.

They're lying awake in their bunk beds, waiting for sleep to catch up with them after a day at school. Jimmy says it first, looking up at the slats of Castiel's bed, above him.

"I love you too" he whispers back, without hesitation. He would never hesitate to give Jimmy anything.

Maybe all things are clearer with hindsight. Because right then possibly isn't where it started. Or perhaps it was always going to happen, Castiel will spend a lot of time wondering, as will Jimmy. They'll never work it out, but they both remember this moment, and think perhaps it began that night.

Right now they go to sleep not realising that they're subtly slipping off track, going off the script for brothers and sliding into something else.

They're only eight years old, twin children, but already they're losing themselves to each other.

Six Years Later

They kiss because they're young, because they're already used to touching all the time anyway. They're waiting for girls to come along, for dating to start and for their chance to be with someone and not just working through puberty solo.

It doesn't even feel weird.

"Move your head" Castiel mutters, they're sitting, face to face, on Jimmy's bed, dry lipped and nervous. "the other way." He smiles as Jimmy tips left, then right. Neither of them has ever kissed before, but Castiel is used to directing his brother in everything else. Slowly he leans forward, hand sliding around to the back of Jimmy's head.

The first brush of their lips is dry and awkward, neither one of them sure how to move or what to do. Castiel is the first to suck on Jimmy's lower lip, nudging his mouth open and sighing into it when Jimmy responds. The contact is electric and Castiel finds himself gripping his brother, pulling him closer and rubbing against him.

This is the moment it actually happens, the second they change from introverted and slightly too involved siblings into something altogether different.

Because Jimmy rubs back, and the innocent, curious and frustrated kiss turns into something else. Castiel pressed between his brothers spread legs and rutting up against him, moaning into each other's mouths in between working their shirts off.

Later, lying half clothed and spent, Castiel whispers "I love you" Jimmy kisses his neck softly. "I love you too"

One Year Later

"Wow"

Jimmy's eyes are closed, head lolling sideways against the dented pillow underneath him. Castiel's face is buried in the soft, sweat damp hair at the back of his neck. He feels...well, fantastic. Sore but gloriously tired and warm, Castiel plastered down his naked back and still moving a little with the rhythm that had carried him over the edge. Jimmy only responds to Castiel's murmured 'Wow' when he feels a long finger probing him, breaching him where Castiel had ridden not five minutes ago. Even then he only turns his face into the pillow, moaning loudly enough to wake the house, had anyone actually been home. Castiel moves away from him slightly, watching his finger slowly pressing into his brother.

"That" he nips harshly at Jimmy's back, licking the brief red mark. "is hot."

"Mmmm" is all he can manage, pressing back into Castiel's hand as his finger strokes his walls through a mess of ejaculate and lube. The tip of his finger nudges his prostate and Jimmy moves backwards more forcefully. "Cas..."

"I know" Castiel presses himself against Jimmy again, renewed hardness digging into his hip. Jimmy hums happily, stretching his legs open again. "and we have all night."

Jimmy groans when Castiel finally seats himself inside of him again. Cas can only give short, butchered grunts as he pitches into the body beneath him. His brother's body, so hot and responsive is driving him crazy, and if he thought finally doing this would make him want Jimmy less, make him love him less – he was dead wrong.

Right now he can't imagine being without this warmth, without the boy underneath him.

Castiel is fifteen and he's in love with his brother. He's losing his virginity, his heart to his twin.

He's the happiest he's ever been.

Two Months Later

Jimmy forgets that he has a bottle of lube in his gym bag, bought on the sly on his way home from school.

Michael Garrison finds it while he's stealing Jimmy's kit to hide under the changing room benches.

He and two of his friends wait for him after class and work him over, leaving him with a huge black eye and a bruised jaw, amongst other wounds. They call him a fag, say that he's disgusting, that he's going to hell. They spit on him and kick him in the stomach until he starts to believe it.

He's everything they say he as – and worse, because Castiel is his brother, and he can't stop wanting him.

Three hours Later

"Jimmy...I love you" Castiel sits across from him on the bed, clenching a half melted ice pack in his hands.

"Cas...please don't, ok? Just..." Jimmy winces, pressing a fresh ice pack to his jaw. "Just stop"

"But I..."

"No you don't" Jimmy says, forcefully. "You don't love me, not that way. And I certainly don't want you...like that." He closes his eyes. "We're just...we're fucked up, Cas, and we don't have to be...not if we stop, now."

"I don't think I can" Castiel says, quietly.

"Try" Jimmy urges.

One Year Later

Castiel first gets drunk a few months after Jimmy stops talking to him. Stops touching him when it can be avoided.

He's at a house party of someone in their grade when someone offers him whisky, one of Michael Garrison's buddies. He drinks it down, has two more and ends up in a strangers washroom with a football players dick in his mouth. His eyes are squeezed shut as he jerks himself off onto the floor, moaning softly around the flesh pressed against his throat.

It doesn't mean anything, he isn't even sure why he did it. But it feels good, to be wanted, to offer himself and have someone say yes, that they want to be with him.

He starts to hang around with the few 'out' guys at his school. Fools around with them when they're alone in each other's rooms.

One of them offers him a toke and he takes him up on it, feeling smoothed out and malleable. The same guy wants Castiel to fuck him, but he just shakes his head. He can't do that for someone else, not since his time with Jimmy. The guy doesn't take it to heart, just tops him instead. Castiel likes the feeling of being crowded in on, pressed down. He closes his eyes and just _feels._

Two Years Later

Castiel is seventeen and should probably not be drunk, but he is. Jimmy notices straight away.

"Where have you been? It's almost two in the morning." He hisses as Castiel drops in through the bedroom window, sliding it shut behind him. He starts to shed his clothing and Jimmy turns his back, rolling to the other side of his bed.

"Out" Castiel flings his shirt petulantly in his direction. A waft of sweat and musky smoke follows the fabric. Weed and sex, Castiel's new favourite pastimes.

"Gabriel again?"

"Not that it's any of your business" Castiel slinks closer, naked legs shimmying up the ladder. "but no." The mattress about his head shifts with his brother's weight. "I was with Crowley"

"Castiel! He's forty and...he's a pervert" Jimmy's seen Crowley, he owns the sleaziest club in town and he runs drugs to all the known pushers in their high school. The previous year he was arrested for killing a young man in New York, but since he was a rent boy no-one could prove for certain that Crowley was the only one with any kind of motive.

Castiel chuckles to himself. No point trying to reason with him until he came down...whenever that would be.

"He's hot" Castiel points out, he stretches out and the slats creak under him. "and he has good stuff."

"You're screwing for drugs now?" Jimmy can't keep the disgust from his voice, doesn't even try.

"I'm screwing for fun. The drugs are just...a favour" Castiel's voice loses some of its intoxicated bliss. "Like you give a fuck anyway."

"I care about you Cas"

"Better repent Jimbo" Castiel's head appears over the edge of the bed, frowning down with mock severity. "Wouldn't want you to wind up..." he whispers the next part with sinister venom "downstairs". He laughs to himself.

"Doesn't look like I'd be there alone"

"Mmmhmmm" Castiel murmurs darkly, moving out of sight. "But at least I'll go out with a bang...not wasting my time being fucking miserable."

"I'm happy Cas"

"Great. Good for you." Castiel's voice is muffled, like he's turned to the wall. "So don't come down on me."

Jimmy can't keep the fight going. He lets it drop.

Three Months Later

This time Castiel comes home from Crowley's with a black eye.

Jimmy can't take it anymore.

"Why are you letting him do this to you?"

Castiel bends over the wash stand and washes his face, he stands up, rubs a towel over his skin and shakes his head.

"You told me you didn't want me. Fine. This is me, coping."

"Does it work?"

Castiel looks at Jimmy via the mirror, face tired and belligerent.

"No" he rasps, eyes lowering as he draws a glass of water.

"So why let him use you?" Jimmy's voice is gentle, Cas is screwed up, strung out and hurting. All he wants to do is make him feel better, try to mend what he broke in him.

"Why not?" he's being flippant on purpose. He turns to look at Jimmy, leaning back against the sink. He's skinner now, harder and unshaven. "best offer I've had for a while."

"Cas..."

"Don't call me that." The shutters slam down and Castiel looks at him, hard. "You don't get to do that, not now."

"I'm still your brother...I love you."

Castiel looks at him for a moment longer, then slowly comes to stand in front of him. He raises his hand to Jimmy's face, blank expression wavering when Jimmy winces. He leans forward, breath ghosting on Jimmy's face before he kisses him. His brother responds, kissing Castiel back with all the emotion he keeps buried. Castiel's mouth has changed, it works differently now, more adeptly sweeping his open and flicking his tongue inside. He tastes alcohol there, and something else that makes him want to retch, he shoves Castiel away.

Castiel looks hurt for maybe half a second before he covers it with anger.

"You know what, fuck you. I don't need this."

"Need what? Jesus Cas." Jimmy's face twists in disgust. "You could've washed your mouth out. I can taste..." he flushes, he can't even bring himself to say it.

Castiel just looks wrung out and bitter.

"What? Come?" he sighs. "So before you didn't want me because it was bad...now it's just 'cause of where I've been?" his eyes are filled with pain, years old and new. "You think I'm that disgusting?"

In his back pocket he has a wad of crumpled notes, a pay off from one of Crowley's friends. Castiel knows he's disgusting. He's a whore for fucks sake, but he didn't think Jimmy would ever see him that way. And even now he doesn't know the truth of how low Castiel has gone.

"I think you need help." Jimmy says, quietly. "Crowley...he isn't good for you and you're...you're slipping Castiel."

Castiel says nothing.

Three months later Jimmy goes off to college, still worrying about his twin brother. Castiel doesn't get help.

Jimmy meets Amelia.


	2. Chapter 2

_Well here it is – part two. I might do an actual sequel, but I'd need to think about it – I'm rushing this because it won't leave me alone and I have work to do, but I nearly cried, so I think it's good. I have to say, I hated jimmy when I started writing Sweetheart (closeted bastard) but he's grown on me _

_Hope you like it. _

Amelia is taking the same classes as him, Business Studies major with a minor in Theology. She's shy and dark haired with greyish blue eyes. Sometimes he sees her smiling at her friends as she enters the room. She reminds him of Cas, but softer, safer. He works up the nerve to talk to her three months into the course. He asks to borrow her pen, feeling ridiculous. He ends up with a cup of coffee and a date for dinner the following evening.

A few months into their relationship, jimmy realises that he's in a relationship. He has someone he sees all the time and who he knows stupid little things about. He's in love.

The first time they have sex Jimmy barely gets through it. It reminds him too much of Castiel, but he finds Amelia to be soft and beautiful, and he loves her, in the part of his heart that isn't reserved for his twin. It gets easier, as the memory of his brother fades into early adolescent experience and Amelia becomes his present.

He proposes at the end of their second year. She accepts.

He hasn't seen Castiel for two years, aside from the occasional letter and the even rarer phone call they have barely communicated. On the phone he can hear the looseness of Castiel's voice, the intoxication in the way he chuckles to himself and rolls his words aimlessly.

"Are you still on that stuff?" he asked, once, his anger taking over his love for a brief moment.

"Are we still on this?" Castiel retorts dryly. "Jimmy..."

"I just wanted to know."

"Yes, I am. Ok?" He sounds tired, there's a noise in the background. "Shit. I have to go."

"Ok. Cas...I love you, be safe, alright?"

"Sure. I love you too man." The line goes dead.

Jimmy goes back to his finals revision, Castiel kicks off his heels and flips over for a client.

He's been wearing women's clothing for a while. The first time he was high, bored and a little curious. The dress came in a plastic sack of hand-me-down crap he inherited from his apartment neighbour. Green silk-effect-nylon and wonderfully soft on his nicotine yellowed hands. There's very little softness about him these days.

He slips it on, standing in front of the cracked bathroom mirror, drawing down the last of the joint clenched in his fingers. His hair is too long, flattening under its own weight, his face is pale, eyes big and blue beneath their sooty lashes. There are track marks on his left arm, deep purple against the skin.

He looks nothing like Jimmy, not anymore.

He doesn't know whether to be glad or not.

Crowley thinks little of this new preoccupation of Castiel's. He tends to take kinks in his stride, though Cas knows he's been going elsewhere for his fun. He keeps the rent checks and the pills coming though, amongst other things. So it's not like he cares. He's never short of a fuck, or business come to that – they go neatly together.

At Jimmy's wedding, the first time they've seen each other for two years – Jimmy catches him using.

They've already had a bad start, Jimmy looks as neat as ever, filled out with age and almost glowing with happiness thanks to the impending wedding. He meets his brother at the airport and is instantly shocked.

Castiel is thinner than ever, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt with a faded Buddha print. His hair is slightly too long and hangs into his eyes, he's unshaven. But it's the way he moves that worries Jimmy the most, twitchy and languid by turns, eyes huge in his gaunt face. Jimmy hugs him fiercely, mouth pressed to his ear.

"Oh Cas..."

"Nice to see you to."

He knows Castiel is a stoner, probably a heavy drinker if not an outright alcoholic. But he's his brother and he loves him, more than he thought was possible.

Until he catches him the spare bedroom with his works out on the bed, readying himself to shoot up.

He slams the door shut, making Castiel jump guiltily.

"Jimmy..."

"Pack. You're leaving" Jimmy throws Cas's duffle onto the bed.

"Ok...I can get the train back." Castiel looks unsurprised and devastated at the same time.

"You're not going home." Jimmy scrubs a hand over his eyes. "I talked to Amelia about this...I thought, maybe you'd need..." he sighs. "I'm taking you to Rehab, Cas."

A bitter smile graces Castiel's mouth.

"Oh the hell you are"

"You're a junkie." Jimmy thunders dangerously. "you brought this into my home – that's out of control."

"I don't want to be in control" Castiel tucks the shaving bag that contains his works away.

"You still with Crowley?"

"Sometimes." Castiel looks down at his hands. The nails have red polish on them, which is the least of Jimmy's concerns right now.

"What does that mean?"

"That I'm a whore, that I get around, ok?" Castiel smiles his hard smile and Jimmy suddenly wishes they were fifteen again, that he could just take a hold of his brother and keep him safe, because the only dangers were bullies and traffic. He can't save Castiel from Crowley, from drugs and whatever infections he's picked up while he's been 'getting around'. All he can do is try to hold him together.

"Cas you aren't that bad."

His brother laughs bitterly. Because he knows exactly how bad he is, he's high not stupid. He knows he's a junkie, that he drinks too much, that he's a whore for taking two, three guys at a time, for money.

He knows.

"Just come with me, please?" Jimmy strokes his hand and Castiel closes his eyes, feeling tears burn in his throat. He nods, roughly, dumbly. He couldn't speak now if he wanted to. Jimmy wraps his arms around him and holds him tightly. And Castiel just, breaks. He sobs hard against his brothers shoulder, hands gripping his shirt tightly. Jimmy presses his face against Castiel's hair while he cries out three years worth of pain and fear and shame.

"Shhhh...it's ok." Jimmy murmurs, running his hands over Castiel's back, feeling his spine as a harsh line of bone. "It's ok...I'm here."

That night he drives Castiel to a rehab clinic two towns away, the closest one with spaces available. He leaves his brother in the care of the night duty warden, looking small and tired and red eyed. In the foyer he hugs him close, squeezing his shoulders.

"I love you, and I'll be back in a few days, ok?" Castiel nods, Jimmy turns to leave.

"Jimmy!" he turns back to find his brother looking open and aware for the first time in...well almost four years. "I want...I want to say, sorry..."

"You don't have to." Jimmy smiles, feeling affection strangle his chest. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

Rehab isn't easy. Castiel feels like shit for a long time, shivering and sweating through his come down, feeling sick and hot and aching so much he wishes he could just pass out. Jimmy visits to show him pictures of the wedding, and they curl up on the resident's sofa to look through them. He feels younger, like Jimmy is years beyond him and protective and strong.

It's nice.

It takes a long time, and Castiel worries that it won't work because he can't tell his therapy group about Jimmy and what happened when they were younger. But he feels better, gains a little perspective on his life – it hasn't all been about Jimmy, and it shouldn't be.

That's the first time Castiel goes into rehab.

The only time.

That's the one thing he's proud of, that came out of the whole mess. He got clean and he stayed clean. Booze and cigarettes aside he's practically a monk once he hits the outside.

He and Jimmy can talk more now, though his brother doesn't understand everything. He doesn't get why Castiel still likes women's clothes, even now he's sober. He still can't come to terms with his brother's promiscuity, though he's slowed down there.

Castiel's philosophy is simple, he likes women's clothing, so he's going to wear them. If he wants sex he'll go get it. Same goes for a drink, he's never had a problem with that. But not drugs.

And that's fine by Jimmy.

Castiel adds another rule mentally - Not relationships either, because, frankly, he'll never love someone as much as Jimmy – so why ruin someone else's life?

He leaves Crowley's place with a little support from Jimmy. He's still hooking, but only occasionally, and it's alright. No one would believe it but it is alright. Sex is fun, and he needs the money, but not badly enough to do things he'd rather not.

He picks most of his guys up at The Sweetheart, a club across town. It's old and falling to ruin but he likes it, and the men there tend to be out and amenable, not closeted and unpredictable.

It's a slow night, not many people around, so he's outside watching the rain, smoking and enjoying himself. He likes nights like this, when everything feels almost unrealistically gritty and dark – because he knows it isn't, he's been there already.

And he's glad to be out.

He's disturbed eventually, some guy comes out of the side door behind him. He's cute so he doesn't really mind. Castiel's happy to receive an appreciative once over and returns it. The guy's hot – in a broad shouldered hick kind of way. He's tall, blond or light brown hair. Castiel figures he could use some action tonight, not even the paid kind, which puts him in a good mood. He asks the guy if he's looking for something, gets a rough response. He likes that, the guys voice is a mass of slightly inebriated accent.

He lets him back him against the wall, hitching his skirt up and kissing him hard. He feels strong, good against his smaller body. He's missed this, good clean fun – at least to him. His hands fall to the guys belt.

"What's your name?" he almost growls against Castiel's throat.

"Cas" he surprises himself by answering. "My name is Cas..."

Things are getting serious when he thrusts up, catching the hard outline of the guys dick against his own. The guy pulls away, sharply, looking shocked.

Oh.

Huh.

Well that's just adorable.

"Oh...I'm sorry." He feels it too, he should have made it clear. His mistake.

He watches the guy bolt, torn between being turned on, amused and feeling oddly warm and affectionate. He doesn't get many innocent guys, defiantly none who don't immediately see him as an easy guy dressed up for the night.

Poor guy.

He asks at the bar, on a whim, and finds out that the guy, the _soldier _is from the military base outside of town. It takes him all night to work up the nerve, but the next morning he puts on his old suit, trench coat and shoes. He hedges a little but eventually goes for his silk underwear – not like he's going to be searched.

The least he can do is find the guy and apologise, for what exactly he isn't sure, but he feels bad about what happened.

And he wants to see him again, in daylight. The guy was hot after all, and he's not going to apologise for being interested in another look.

His name is Dean. The bartender knew that much, so it's almost easy to get a message to him from the front gate. He waits in the tiny control booth for him to arrive. Still hot, even in uniform and looking nervous and perhaps a little pissed.

The conversation is tense but he can feel the heat there, this guy knows what he is and he's still interested. Perhaps a little more interested now. So when Dean's finger brush the lace and silk of his underwear...Cas thinks, what the hell? How long has it been since someone wanted him badly enough to turn for him?

Well...not since Jimmy. And isn't that the point? Isn't that why he's here?

Sometimes he wishes he could understand how his mind worked. At least then he'd know where he was headed before he got there.

"I'm not..." Dean pants, eyes uncertain and heated.

"I know" Castiel hears himself almost growl, pulling Dean against him and then back into the wall, kissing roughly and hungrily. His voice turns gentle as he takes Dean's hands guiding them unflinchingly and looking him in the eye. "Just touch me."

Dean's hand cups him through the fabric of his slacks, rubbing the silk underneath into his groin. Castiel hums delicately, his own hands working on the zipper of Dean's pants. The larger man jumps at the first contact of his fingers, which although long and slim, are nothing like a woman's.

"Hey" Castiel tips his head up, stroking slowly. "It's ok" he kisses him. "You like this?" Dean kisses him, hard. Castiel smiles against him, opening his own pants deftly. They press into the wall, Dean rutting against the dampening fabric of the scrap of silk panties caught between them.

"Oh...fuck, yes" Dean's hands hit the wall on either side of Castiel's head as he throws his body into the motion. "I'm..." his hips stutter, Castiel feels his own orgasm approaching, fast and messy, he could get used to this, it's been so long since he'd just _been_ with someone, not just fucking them but feeling them.

He feels like a fucking teenager.

It's awesome.

"I'm gonna..." Dean rubs against him hard, pulsing come against both their stomachs. "Ooh...oh, god." Castiel bites Dean's lip, surging his own climax against the sodden fabric of his underwear. He rubs them together, feeling the heated wetness trapped between them.

Dean looks shaken and yet still aroused, which Castiel finds endearing. He can't remember the last virgin he had, there haven't been many. And this guy is just...Dean looks down at their bellies, streaked with come, his fingers wrap around Castiel's spent dick, rubbing it softly, he loses his train of thought, letting his head fall to Dean's shoulder with an unsteady goran. His fingers find Dean's cock, teasing the sensitive flesh. They whimper as their pace increases, blood flooding downwards into the torturously raw skin.

"Fuck" Castiel pants succinctly.

"Mmmhmm" Dean's teeth catch at his throat. "You're fucking...so good...Cas...you feel so fucking _good_."

"Yeah" His breath is harsh, like he's on the edge of crying, despite how delirious he feels. Wound up and wrung out and so fucking on edge. A raw nerve about to come again. "Oh god keep doing that" Dean's fingers work the uncut skin of him, rubbing his slit roughly. "Fuck...please...please..." He comes like it's been punched out of him, dry and tight little spasms that almost bend him double, he collapses into the wall, Dean's chest pressed to his as the other man shudders and gasps.

His legs feel unsteady, his chest and face are burning, sweat soaking them both. He feels...good, fucking fantastic, and Dean's still holding him, not pulling away and cleaning up with a grin. They're pressed together, still mostly clothed. Dean's breath stirs his hair. His chest pounds hard, painful emotion twists his gut.

And Dean says six words that he's waited a long time to hear.

"I'd like to see you again."


End file.
